Four Serendipitous Surprises after Three Months in Estonia

Toothpicks, toddlers, border control and my own identity

This morning’s sunrise from Tamme

“What have you found weird about Estonia?”

My Estonian neighbor asked me this question recently and I was a little hard-pressed to give her an answer. It’s not so much that things are “weird.” I’d call it, “refreshingly different,” or “surprises.” Things that are unexpected and cause you to pause and go “hmmmmm. That’s interesting.” 

On that note, it has indeed been a gushing water hose of surprises sprinkled with serendipity since we landed here in June. Mostly things that fall into that category of exactly what I was hoping for: different perspectives and approaches to life and living that constantly keep John and I questioning and looking at things with renewed creativity and curiosity.

I’ve challenged myself, learned more, tried more new approaches and put myself in situations where I didn’t know what the hell I was doing (or saying – I also have the language challenges to navigate) in the last three months than I have in years, even decades. It often causes me to have flashbacks reminiscent of when John and I first moved to the farm in Wisconsin in 1996 right after we got married at 30 and plunged into a new steep life learning curve. 

Back then in 1996 starting Inn Serendipity, it was things like understanding what how a septic worked, navigating a new well due to high nitrite levels in the water and learning how to raise our own food. Today – definitely older and hopefully a tad wiser – the learning curve involves topics like new languages, embracing a new northern growing climate (and building a greenhouse!) and traversing different health care systems.

The perfect recipe for change and personal growth indeed.

Here are a few highlights from the last three months, just a few entertaining samples with more to come. Also, some of these observations may be more due to the fact that we’re in Europe, rather than Estonian specific.  All pure personal observations.

1. Pronouncing my name wrong

While yes, I was looking to challenge myself with this move, the universe decided to really shake things up and cause me to question my basic life norms, like how I pronounce my name.

Lisa Kivirist.

Somewhere along the line after my parents came to the States in the 1950s, got married and navigated English as a new language and America as a new home, the three “I ” letters in my last name were always pronounced as the English short “I” – and the name (as those who know me know) was always pronounced “Kivirist.”

But Estonian pronunciation, the “I” sounds like an American long “eeee”, so my name is really:

Kee-vee-reest.

I also now understand why my Estonian grandfather always spelled my first name with two letter I – “Liisa” – that’s the correct Estonian spelling.  And it’s pronounced, again, long “e”:  Leesa.

I learned this quickly when I started talking to folks and I would say my “American” version of my name and they stared blankly, as to their ear it didn’t sound Estonian at all. Once I made the effort to say the long “eee,” I quickly got a smile and nod and confirmation on the Estonian roots connection.

WTF?

Perhaps the universe is simply having a laugh with me. Or more likely reminding me at midlife the lesson I need to hear:  nothing is a certain. Embrace life and the abundant buffet of change she offers by rethinking everything. Including, as it turns out for me, one’s own name and identity.

2. Independent kids

The first time I saw what looked like a five year old on the bus by themselves in the big city of Tallinn of all places, I immediately leapt into “mom mode” and thought the poor child was lost.

Fortunately for everyone’s sake much less this dear kiddo, I quickly then saw how well and confidently they navigated it all. Swiping their ticket card, sitting with other kids and chatting away. Pulling out their smartphones.

This is simply the way it is here. I’d argue the way it wonderfully is, raising children in a refreshingly safe environment (Estonia’s crime rate is so low they are considering renting out unused prison space for extra income ) where kids learn at a young age to navigate like this, whether they were going to dance class or visiting grandma or school. And with such expectations of children of all ages climbing into a public bus or tram, you naturally have us adults keeping an eye out and watching, but just in a “I’m here if anything really goes sideways but you are fine. Oh, and by the way, behave yourselves.”

As the summer season here officially wrapped when school started September 1, I realize now – of course – there are no school buses as we expect them in the States, diesel engines in bright yellow lines running while waiting for school picks up and drop offs. Usually more than half empty. In Estonia, everyone takes the same public transportation, so if the kids live beyond walking distance from school they simply jump on the bus.

Another new learning for me: the general planning approach for where to geographically build schools is based around the age of the child. For example, there are lots of kindergartens in Estonia, with the rationale that – as a little kid – your school should be closer because you are, well, little. As you grow, the schools can be further away and larger and more consolidated because you are older and can travel further (on that public bus). High school can be further than middle school.  Universities and higher learning are located more in the bigger cities.

I’m still learning the public transportation infrastructure here and more to share on that but, bottom line, it is blowing me away. Anywhere, even in the rural parish I live in, you can find regular, on-time and economical public transportation. Get this: As a resident of Tallinn, Liam automatically gets 100% free public transportation which he uses for everything and definitely has no need for a car, perhaps ever. For me, when I’m in Tallinn, I can get a five-day “all you can ride” public transportation pass for a very economical 11 Euros (right now $12.21 US)

3. Toothpicks in the toothpaste aisle

At the local Coop grocery store in our closest town of Häädemeeste

Every day here is sprinkled with small, yet poignant surprises, like this one I just confirmed at multiple stores:  Toothpicks are by the toothpaste and toothbrushes in the personal hygiene section. 

This toothpick location makes extreme logical sense to me:  not that I’m a high-volume toothpick buyer but, when I did need them, it took forever to find them and wherever they were (next to paper plates maybe?) didn’t make sense. Putting them by other things you use on your teeth? Logic ensured.

OK I realize:  Toothpicks are a minor point under the broad umbrella of life and cultural differences, but it struck me personally as yet another vivid example of remembering to question our daily actions. What’s really going on here for me is the need to constantly question our norms. To not accept that something “is just that way” and ask is there something better, easier, more sustainable, less costly – whatever the criteria may be.

It's an important reminder for me personally in this new Estonian life chapter:  to not assume anything, to question, to change. For me, I’m learning that openness to change is a muscle, the more you engage in it, the more your capacity builds. A key piece of this is for me is my initial reaction when something isn’t working as I expect, to not get frustrated or annoyed but step back with a dash of wonder and intrigue – even if over toothpick placement.

4. Proximity to Latvia

My first time on Latvian soil

“I can see Latvia from my house.”

Well, not exactly. But I could readily bike there as the Estonia-Latvia border is just 22 km (13 miles) due south.

This didn’t fully dawn on me until John and I accidentally drove over it. I say “accidentally” as I was expecting to see something more distinct at the border crossing. Like maybe someone official? Passport checking? Something?

John at the Estonian-Latvian border. Old (unmanned) watch tower in background

But this has to do with me now experiencing life in the European Union where, indeed, going to Latvia and crossing most borders (granted, this border near me is very rural and not a main thoroughfare) in the EU feel like we crossed the Wisconsin border into Minnesota. Eventually we saw the “Welcome to Latvia” sign, hiked a pier reaching into the Baltic Sea made out of stacked boulders that would have been a twist-your-ankle liability nightmare in the States but here is the norm, and returned back to Estonia.

Walk carefully on the pier in Ainažu, Latvia

Our close Latvia geographic connection of our new place, Tamme, was not a criteria when we were real estate hunting. Originally we were looking at a variety of places, mostly on the island of Saaremaa. But my roots are not just Estonian: while I’m 100% Baltic genetically according to 23andme, its a mix of 50% Estonian and 50% Latvian, thanks to my Latvian mom. While all the pieces of this move added up to multiple reasons to live in Estonia, our proximity to Latvia gifted me with a way to honor my mom too.

Check out more photos (and ordering options) from John D. Ivanko on Alamy